In the Moonlight
by Capie
Summary: Sakura and Li just shared a very intimate moment and now faced numerous fears of losing each other. Rated R for the setting and nature of the story...but nothing much really happens that is "R"


Another one-night insomnia-curing story…  
(Somehow that didn't sound too well if it was the comment from the author)  
  
In the Moonlight  
Comments are always welcomed at smilie_smilie@hotmail.com  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or the general Card Captor Sakura story. It's the property of Clamp. This story is written as a past time. No copyright infringement intended.  
  
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Pale moonlight shimmered through the translucent veil blinds as a crisp breeze blew past the half-opened window bringing refreshing coolness into a room in an apartment on the third floor in Tomoeda, Japan. The sky was dark and clear with glittering stars hanging overhead providing little luminous light. The bachelor apartment was home to a Chinese transfer student and second home to the person that was his reason for being in Japan.  
  
Li Syaoran closed his eyes lightly as he took a large breath of relief and comfort. He reached further down his bed and pulled his half-tossed blanket over his bare shoulder and the shoulder of the girl resting next to him. He ignored the pile of entangled clothes resting at the foot of his bed. His jumbled chocolate brown hair was casually tossed over his sweaty forehead and covered his eyes. Letting out a happy sigh, he wrapped his muscular arms around the girl snuggling her closer. Planting a light kiss on her forehead he began to drift into a deep comforting sleep.  
  
Li Syaoran had transferred to Japan to study just several years ago. He had struggled much for this opportunity though. His family had urged him to study in Hong Kong where they could keep a close eye on him and provide support should he require it but as far as Li Syaoran was concerned, the only support he needed was from the girl tucked in his bed near him at the moment. Li had first come to Japan on orders from his family and had treated her as his archrival but for some inexplicable reason, he had fallen so quietly in love with her. To his infinite surprise and amusement, she had loved him too. The moment he returned to his native homeland, he had sworn to return to his heart's desire one day and remain there forever more. After six unusually long years, the day had arrived and he found himself at the airport bidding his biological family farewell and greeting his new family composed of the girl he had once left behind—or the family he, one day, hope to make his.  
  
Kinomoto Sakura was the image of perfection. She had managed to befriend a rather shy boy who had her marked as enemy from the start. She had charmed him enough so he will uncontrollably flutter around her. She taught him to trust her and respect her despite of her carefree and light-hearted attitude towards the even gravest dilemmas. She was special and Li could not possibly imagine life without her.  
  
Li had almost fallen asleep when he heard her sweet soft angelic voice call out. "Syaoran," she said.  
  
Li's eyes fluttered open slightly to look at her. To his surprise, she seemed to be wide-awake. Her bright sparkling green eyes gazed at his intense reddish brown ones. Her honey brown hair brushed his bare chest as she lifted her face to see him. "Nan da," he asked with a slight smile curving at the corners of his lips as he brought one hand to brush aside the bangs that were covering her eyes hiding their true jewel-like beauty.  
  
She looked away from him almost in grimace. Her eyes dimmed as tears flooded them and her usually happy demeanor melted into a rare frown. The tears broke through her eyelids as they trailed down her cheeks and curving under her chin. She sniffled just a bit and held back a sob. "Syaoran…"  
  
Li's eyes widened, as he was surprised to see Sakura crying. Her body began to shift away from him but Li held onto her firmly. He nuzzled her closer to him and his expression was one of concern as he shifted his head around the pillow trying to meet his beloved in the eye. "What's wrong?" he asked tenderly.  
  
Sakura struggled and freed herself from Li's grip and turned away from him wrapping her arms around her chest protectively. Her legs curled up tucking into a little ball. Instead of answering Li, she merely sobbed quietly in the moonlight. "I…"  
  
As Sakura shifted away from him, Li felt a sudden coldness brush his body. This was the first time in the cool misty night that his body parted away from hers. Needing her warmth, Li moved closer as he attempted to tuck Sakura back into an embrace but the moment his hand touched her arm, she flinched as if burned by fire and the etched away from him.  
  
"Sakura?" Li asked as he pulled himself up supporting his weight on his forearm. "What's wrong?"  
  
Sakura curled tighter into a ball letting out a sorrowful cry. "I…" she began but tears flooded down her cheeks and her throat was caught. "I'm scared, Syaoran,"  
  
'Scared?!' Li thought silently to himself. They had just shared the most magical moment in their short lives and now Sakura was scared. Frankly, her response frightened Li too.  
  
Sakura had come over to Li's apartment for dinner as she usually did when her brother was out at university and her father would work late. They had prepared dinner together and had even cleaned up together. Sakura enjoyed sharing the mediocrity of daily life with Li. Somehow, it made her feel closer to him, as though they were a family. She had hoped, with a blush, someday, that he would be family. It was after dinner when Li had begun cleaning his apartment that set off the chain of events leading to her sleepover.  
  
Li had decided to finally dust his apartment and Sakura volunteered immediately. She was dusting one of Li's larger pots of plants when she accidentally knocked it over. The soil spilled over from the pot soaking through her shirt and onto the ground. To that, Li merely smiled reassured her that it was all right and offered his bathroom for Sakura to shower and change into clean clothing while he washed the mud off her clothes and tidy up the mess of soil on his floor.  
  
It was after the shower when the night truly began to unfold itself for the two of them.  
  
Somehow from Li's living room where Sakura emerged out of the shower, the two had ended up in his bedroom, and on his bed. Sharing some of the most passionate moments and sacred moments with each other, the two explored the depths of their affections and pushed all the intensity of their hearts to swift motions in bed. What they felt was beyond simplistic hugs and kisses—beyond words and vows, beyond physical action; and yet the two managed to best demonstrate their profound love under the constraints of this world by making love.  
  
Neither had quite expected the evening to take such a turn but they both coped. The moment was ephemeral and yet forever imprinted in both their memories. Whereas Li had expected the aftermath to be total intimacy, he found himself half-sitting on his bed with the object of his affection "scared" of him.  
  
Li would understand if Sakura was scared half an hour ago when they were about to take a huge leap together in their budding relationship. He would understand if she would cringe away from him then or even slapped him before storming away; but in the heat of the moment, Sakura never complained. In fact, she gave him her reassurance and consent. She wanted him just as badly as he wanted her. Now that the stress was over, he could not possibly grasp why Sakura would be so afraid of him. After all, hadn't he just showed how much he loved her?  
  
"Sakura…" Li mumbled under his breath letting out a sigh and shaking his head in confusion as he tried once again to edge towards the green-eyed girl though she reacted by cringing into an even tighter ball, tucking her legs closer to her chest and body becoming more rigid.  
  
"Syaoran…please…" Sakura's voice was muffled and husky as her knees covered her tender pink lips and another lump caught her throat and she began to sob.  
  
Seeing Sakura cry, Li immediately glided back on the bed away from her. Sitting up fully, reaching for his clothes in the pile at the foot of the bed, Li turned away and quietly yet gently said "I'm sorry,". He pulled out a shirt from the pile and slipped in on before extracting his shorts and pants. "I can't take back what I have already done. I'm really sorry. I didn't know you weren't ready,"  
  
"It's not that," Sakura muttered between sobs in a hush whisper.  
  
"You should have told me. I would have stopped. I'm really sorry that I can't undo this," Li continued as he stood up and walked towards his bedroom door. "I'll stay outside," he said.  
  
"Syaoran…" Sakura called out as Li began to step outside. Then more forcefully "Syaoran!"  
  
Li stood cold in his tracks and turned around. "Hmmm?"  
  
"I'm scared…" was all Sakura could reply.  
  
"Why?" Li asked softly as he padded back to Sakura's bedside.  
  
"That this…" Sakura stuttered. "That this will end,"  
  
Li stared back at Sakura quizidly. "What will end?"  
  
"This…" Sakura struggled to say. "This…all of this…"  
  
"You mean us?" Li suggested as he leaned closer to Sakura trying to capture her eyes in a gaze but failing miserably.  
  
Sakura gave a weak nod as fresh tears flooded her eyes and broke through. She muffled a silent sob as her body began to shake with grief and fright. Unable to contain herself any longer, Sakura finally broke out in a wash of salty tears and painful cries.  
  
"Don't cry, Sakura," Li tried to reassure her as he placed a hand gently on her vibrating frame. Feeling the smoothness along the full length of her arm, Li wrapped his other arm around her entire frame picking her up and kneading her close to him before turning her face to him.   
  
Sakura felt her bare chest brush against the fabric of his shirt feeling even more vulnerable. Li's arms ran the full length of her back. His soothing voice echoed in her ears softly. He was too good, even for her. He was infinitely kind, gentle, patient, understanding, passionate, loyal, and forgiving. If anyone knew him past his hard exterior and shy demeanor, they will realize he was the crown jewel of her life—compassionate and brave. She, on the other hand, had fallen in and out of love with various figures in her life before realizing the great prize he represented. Only then, did she work hard to ensure that he would be hers forever.  
  
Holding Sakura closer to him, Li felt a wave of warmth wash through his body. She was soft and gentle. She was beautiful and delicate yet strong and sturdy. She was fine and detailed yet her beauty was simplistic. To Li, Sakura was innocent and pure—she was his definition of beauty. Where he was rough and scarred from is tough life, she was still fresh and clean. Li placed the palm of his hand softly against her back and stroked her. "Please don't cry…" he reassured.  
  
Sakura scoffed as she struggled to contain her tears. Then finally in a husky voice, "I don't want this to end…"  
  
"Then it won't!" Li said confidently. "Why would you think any of this would end? You are just being silly,"  
  
"But…" Sakura protested feeling tired, vulnerable and small in Li's firm grip. "But how would you know…how would anyone know that for a fact?"  
  
Li took a deep breath in an awkward silence. He looked away from Sakura's limp body. She asked him a very difficult question and for the first time, he could not provide an answer. "I don't know…"  
  
Sakura let out a quiet squeak of a cry and buried herself into Li's chest. Her hands clenched in tight fists wrapping them protectively against herself. She squeezed her eyes shut as the water flooded to her eyes. Her legs tucked up again to the underside of her chin as her frame stiffened and shivered violently.  
  
Li reached out and tightened his grip on the girl. Mustering his most stable and comforting voice, he began "Well…I really don't know what will happen in the future but I know I just shared the most magnificent moment of my life with the person I love most," he paused, "And I know that was also one of the most important moments in your life too,"  
  
At that, Sakura stopped crying. She brought one of her numb hands to her face and wiped off her tears. Finding all the courage in her body, she pulled her head up and looked at Li in the eye. Her eyes were still red and swollen from her tears, her voice hoarse from the crying and her body numb from the stress and nervousness of her own fears.  
  
"I can't take back what was done. I should have made sure you were ready for it all…" Li continued almost apologetically. "I shouldn't have pushed too hard, but I wanted to be close to you and I have wanted to share something like that with someone special,"  
  
"I wanted it too, Syaoran…" Sakura muttered quietly, her voice fading away from fatigue. "I wanted it to be special. I'm just scared that you…" she trailed off as fresh tears began to form in her eyes.  
  
"That I will go?" Li finished her sentence. "That after this, I won't be here any longer?" Li inquired as he slid his hands to Sakura's shoulder and held her tightly. "Sakura, I won't do that,"  
  
"What makes you so sure? What if other things happen and you have to go?" Sakura provoked.  
  
"I care about too much about you to let go and I came back here because I want to be near you," Li explained. "What we have between us is real. We both feel it. What we share is genuine or else we wouldn't be so close right now and that's why we are so scared of losing it. We treasure what we have so much that when the stakes are heightened, we lose sight of the beauty of our rapport and focus on the fear of parting with each other," he paused letting Sakura absorb his words. "Like when we shared something so sacred as we did tonight. You are scared of losing me because you are afraid you have nothing else to give me,"  
  
"Aren't you scared?" Sakura asked.  
  
"I am…" Li admitted quietly. "I don't have anything else to give you now either…"  
  
"Then now…" Sakura mumbled fearing what she might hear next.  
  
"I love you, Sakura…" Li said quietly as he turned away to avert Sakura's intending gaze. "And now…if anything ever happens, we will face it together,"  
  
Lifting her hand to bring his face to hers, Sakura tilted her head up and planted a light kiss on Li's lips. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she tucked herself in comfortably in an embrace knowing they will overcome their fears together.  
  
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Owari!  
  
As usual, comments always welcomed at smilie_smilie@hotmail.com  
  
For those who don't know…  
Nanda – what  



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